Memories That Haunt Me, They Follow Me Till The Day I Die pt.1

A few years ago in front of my family…

I collapsed to the ground.

I had been awake for more than 5 days straight, hardly eating anything at all, water was my best friend. My mom still does not know how she picked me up and put me in the car. We drove to the closest ER we could find. Time was running out…

With a cop right behind us (mom was speeding), I had just made it on time.

Five days ago

I had a wonderful day at my shop where I use to sell and fix computers. I had sold on that one day 4 custom desktop computers. I had generated nearly $3,500 in a matter of 3 days. Keep in mind these were all custom computers yet to be build. The pressure was on, but I had no means of letting it get the best of me.

It was around the time, when I had met up with a friend that was very much in to Meth. Knowing I had all this work to do and the effects of Meth (keeping you up for longperiods of time), I decided to buy some. I’ve been a user for about a year by this time. Nothing new, just the usual.

The first two days were fine, I got high and worked all day and night on building these computers. I swear nobody was able to tell the difference between the normal and paranoid version of me. They all assumed I was very busy, as I always were.

On the third day, I caught myself a few times behaving very paranoid at nights. I would see shadows of people and later on of other things that were scary at the time! I was tripping out. Later on that night I slept for maybe 2 or 3 hours.

Locking myself in the bathroom for what appeared to be 2 hours or so, I finally had let myself out! I was smoking and smoking as much as possible with the water running. The effects were kicking in, I felt like I had felt the first two days! Let’s roll!

It was on the 5th day, when I had just came out of the bathroom, that I found myself arguing with my mom about why I had taken so long in the bathroom and why I haven’t been sleeping lately. She was growing a lot of suspicion and decided to confront me about it. BAD timing! My heart starting beating at a very accelerated pace, too fast that I couldn’t control myself, I started hyperventilating, sweating and growing very fatigue. I was “OD ‘ng”. Grabbing my chest, as if I was trying to rip open my skin to calm down the tedious beating of my heart, I first fell on one knee and soon the other. My mom realized what was going on, dropped what she was doing and rushed over to me. My last words were “I’m sorry and I love you”

When I woke up, I was still high, but not on Meth, on whatever other drug the Doc put in me to calm my symptoms down. It was like some truth serum or something, because all I can remember saying to myself was ” why the hell am I confessing to my family about using drugs!”

Meth is a hell of a drug! I do not wish anyone ever to attempt to use it. Many who do, never sober up again! Very true! Believe me! I hit rock bottom before I straighten out. (which I will discuss in the future about “The Great Payback”)

I can go on, but the reality was that I didn’t learn my lesson that day. People can be so stupid when using drugs. You don’t think of no one else but yourself and your high. Meth ruined a few years of my life (2), but in reality I’ve had to payback (financially, physically, emotionally and spiritually) for the last 3 years or so after I stopped getting high! What goes around comes around kid.

Thank you God for placing everyone in my life in their correct places and for allowing me to see things clearly. I am forever in your debt…